Unique: Arsenal are fucked | Arseblog … an Arsenal weblog


I’m sorry to report this morning that the title we’re all dreaming of received’t be taking place.

After quite a lot of earlier expenses this season for failing to manage our gamers, I’ve phrase that the FA are going to throw the ebook at Arsenal. A correct large ebook too. Not some form of weedy pamphlet, suppose Warfare and Peace and The Lord of the Rings in a single large compendium. Stated ebook will include quite a few factors deductions, starting with Saturday’s win over Bournemouth:

William Saliba booting the nook flag

FA rule 19.11c states that ‘Any membership which causes harm to an artifact used for a ‘communicado official‘ faces sanction, as much as and together with factors determination. Saliba kicked the nook flag then, because it was returning to its pure place, smashed it once more together with his testicular area. A double-whammy offence: 2 factors docked.

Ben White – Extreme Taunting

After Reiss Nelson’s winner hit the again of the online, Ben White stood in entrance of Bournemouth goalkeeper Neto gave it ‘giant’. On the recommendation of the referee, and newly appointed VAR official Mr Mee Lason, this was thought-about ungentlemanly conduct to extent that not solely will the participant face a 5 recreation ban, Arsenal shall be penalised for failing to manage a very good-looking participant: 3 factors docked.

Moreover, White assaulted Neto’s hand with the again of his head: 2 factors docked.

Tiny pitch invaders

Soccer has lengthy handled the scourge of pitch invaders. For essentially the most half, these are a product of a bygone age, however once in a while you see one strive. Jurgen Klopp’s disgust at Anfield on Sunday was evident when a big scally ran onto the pitch to have a good time a Liverpool objective of their 7-0 (seven) win over Manchester United.

Nonetheless, at FA HQ the actual fear has been ‘What in the event that they make them smaller, and thus rather more tough to see and catch? – a bit just like the ‘Would you struggle 100 duck sized horses?’ query.

This time it might need solely been one tiny little chap, however to make sure this isn’t a case of testing the waters earlier than there’s a full on invasion of little lads in full kits carrying parkas – which might smash the status of the Premier League throughout the globe – the membership can be fined a billion kilos and given one other factors deduction: 4 factors docked.

On high of that, Mikel Arteta’s excessive 5 of Saturday’s diminutive little rascal is seen as tacit endorsement of this rising menace: 3 extra factors docked.

Bukayo Saka

Bukayo Saka is Bukayo Saka: 8 factors docked.

Noise air pollution

It has been mentioned that when Reiss Nelson’s objective hit the again of the online, the noise generated by the group was so nice that it was in breach of the Environmental Safety Company Act of 2004, which prohibits noise that may be a nuisance, or that will endanger human well being or harm property or harm the setting.

By their very own admission, it was so loud that some Arsenal followers began to cry, brazenly weeping on the reverberation of celebration of their eardrums. As a reminder to all different golf equipment that last-gasp winners ought to be celebrated with a minimal of screaming, bellowing, shrieking, roaring, whooping, and particularly hollering, the FA should impose the strictest attainable sanction which is 3 factors docked: So 6 factors docked as a result of the noise went on a bit too lengthy.

Giving false hope to others

Going two objectives down after which coming again to win would possibly seem to be a superb factor from an Arsenal perspective, however what in regards to the influence on different supporters? The FA imagine the membership has an obligation of care in the direction of the broader soccer neighborhood, and there have been a big variety of complaints made by followers from Manchester who felt upset by what transpired.

The FA believes that these delicate little souls, who assist a plucky little aspect who got here from nowhere to dominate the Premier League by way of their very own sheer will and infinite spunk and undoubtedly not due to any underhanded monetary tomfoolery, have been negatively affected by the drama towards Bournemouth on Saturday.

Arsenal to pay for counselling for any particular person who requires it. And: 7 factors docked.

Disproportionate celebration

A press release from PC Dick Keys: “At round 4.56pm on Saturday afternoon, I used to be witness to essentially the most egregious and disturbing sight. A 23 12 months previous footballer kicked a ball behind a web – that’s what they’re paid to do, proper? It shouldn’t be an enormous deal. You don’t see a taxi driver do cartwheels each time he drops off a fare, do you?

“What transpired disgusted me to my very core. I noticed surprising celebrations, and let me inform you, I’ve seen lots on this job down the years. This was shameless. Leaping. Hugging. Individuals having fun with themselves at a sporting occasion. We merely can’t have that.

“The proper response would have been for the teammates of mentioned 23 12 months previous to line up in an orderly trend to shake his hand and say ‘Jolly good present, previous chap’, however that protocol was not adhered to. Subsequently in my position as head of this police power, I reported Arsenal, the gamers, the workers, the followers and their pets, and the lads who promote burgers outdoors the bottom.

“Mmm, the scent of these onions, takes me proper again. Again to a time when males had been actual males and footballers had been an instance to everybody.”

Having examined the assertion from the highest regulation enforcement officer within the land, the FA have come to their determination: 12 factors docked.

It’s not all unhealthy information although. We’re completely going to stroll the Championship subsequent season.